Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise

Pictured: a reenactment of Richardson's feat.

After spending over ten consecutive hours sitting on the couch today, local man Jim Richardson decided to walk over 300 feet (round-trip) to his mailbox, burning over nine calories and fulfilling his goal of engaging in "some form of exercise" every day.

The 230 pound Richardson reported feeling "winded, but fufilled" after the postal excursion, which took upwards of 100 seconds.

"It's always hard to get motivated before a workout, but there's nothing like the feeling you get when it's over," said Richardson in a press conference this evening. "People talk about 'runner's high' -- I think I definitely have that right now, even though I didn't run so much as I slowly shuffled."

Richardson then excused himself while he ate a pack of cookies that contains just 100 calories -- only his fourth such pack since noon.

"Exercising is good, but you can't overeat, either," he explained. "Little snacks like this a few times every couple of hours are great for keeping the cravings down."

Although Richardson is by no means a fitness guru, he does fancy himself as somewhat of an expert, particularly in the sedentary lifestyles of many Americans -- a lifestyle he says he was once all too familiar with.

"There was a time in my life when I would go over ten hours just sitting on the couch, and then eventually just kind of fall asleep," he said with regret. "I felt like a real slob, but thankfully, those days are over."

After hitting a low point of attempting to aim his urine into a nearby bathroom to avoid having to walk there, Richardson says he began to shape up, using television shows like "The Biggest Loser" -- in which fat people are yelled at until they lose weight -- as inspiration.

"I knew I wasn't as bad as all those fatasses," he said. "I figured if I laughed at them enough, I could probably burn enough calories to get back into shape."

Now, the stay-at-home video editor says he routinely rouses himself from the couch to take food wrappers to the trash can (32 feet), empty his cat's litterbox (38 feet), or just walk a few laps around a portion of the living room while watching TV (7 feet per lap).

At the end of the day, Richardson says his fitness routine adds up to as much as 450 feet walked -- longer if he has to answer the door to let the grocery deliveryman in.

"Am I one of those big, muscle-bound guys you see in the movies who will probably be fat in a year or two anyway? Not yet," Richardson said with a wink. "But I did recently inherit two five pound dumbbells from my mother, so you might want to stay tuned!"

Update: Jim Richardson had a heart attack and sudden violent diabetes four minutes after his press conference concluded. He is now in the hospital and says he has no idea how this happened.

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