I Can't Believe I'm Writing The DVD Description For PussyFest 9

Pictured: Gerald William Bunson

I never thought I'd be admitting this, but it really is true what they say: hard work and determination pay off. I didn't believe this until just recently, when my writing skills borne out of my necessity to complain about various things were married with my connections to the porn world fueled by my occasional indulgence in pot or PCP. To put it simply, I'm getting paid to write the back of the box copy for the DVD of the instant classic, PussyFest 9.

Do I really have to rewrite my entire outlook on life now? Honestly, I think I do. No longer can I take a laissez-faire attitude towards the acts of trying and doing -- if I hadn't have given a considerable amount of effort to making friends to increase my contact list for E, or sat here at the computer mulling over how the world is screwing me once more, I never would've gotten this job. There obviously is something to be said for a little elbow grease in this world, and I'd be a fool to deny it, just as there's no denying that Starla Sparkle really is taking double penetration for a good 25 minutes. Sorry, I'm just trying out a few things.

And sure, the porno industry isn't without its critics, but then again, what line of work isn't? You look at what's going on right now in our government and tell me that Dick Cheney doesn't feel any more shame than I do at going to work in the morning. Of course, he lives in a secret undisclosed location and operates in the shadows, so in a sense, my job is way more important than his. My work is seen by thousands, and maybe even affects a few guys as they mull over a couple of different DVD choices at their local adult video store. "Well, Camp Asses 5 continues a series I know and love, as well as appealing to my famous love for asses," they might think to themselves, "but this description for PussyFest 9 really is a cut above. 'You'll be throbbing right along with Bella Chest as she realizes the true meaning of her womanly parts.' How could I say no?" Does Dick Cheney's policy really affect anyone in America in the same way? I have to say, I kind of doubt it.

In fact, while I'm busy rewriting my expectations and attitude towards life, I might as well reverse my earlier policy of refusing to indulge in anything too sentimental towards God and country and the like and put it out there: I'm really living the American Dream. For a guy like me to come from an upper class family where I had lots of confusing choices about which way to go and boil everything down to this narrow focus I have now -- there's something inspiring and real about that. There's a raw drive in me that I really didn't know I even had until I was offered this job for $10 at a bar last night. That offer was really the culmination of my life: the drug use, the parties, the terrible headaches and expulsion of bodily fluids afterwards. I knew, suddenly, what I had been working towards all along. And I won't lie: it felt great. Oh yeah, baby. It feels so good.

Of course, I realize the risks I'm assuming by entering the film industry. I know there's a tendency for people to become corrupt and disillusioned in this business, and lose sight of what their goals were in exchange for profit, ending up vainly pursuing anything that's just a little bit real even as they encourage falsity in all they do. But there's really no danger with that in my case, because selling out and making money is my goal. I'm completely willing to compromise my work in the interests of financial gain, drug use, sexual favors -- all the things I've always heard so much about. I'm no maverick trying to shake up the system, here. I'm just honored to be a part of it, and I want to do my best to continue the status quo and get a piece for myself while I'm at it. And honestly, if that means changing a word or two on this description -- "panty-melting desire" for "luscious lust" -- I'm game. I know it wouldn't take much to send me right back where I came from like the proverbial immigrants in our society today who aren't as lucky as I am.

In this life, you get what you put out. It's really that simple. If you work hard enough, you could be performing oral sex on another female while a man engages in anal sex with you. And you could also be writing an exciting description based on that scene.

Gerald William Bunson currently lives in North Dakota, where he writes descriptions for over two pornographic movies. For the first time in his life, he is happy.

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